Reb TZiPi

I cannot continue being this blog without writing about my Aunt Gloria, whom I hope is not of blessed memory; however until I know where she is for real I can only imagine her safe, with her ancestors who have passed before her.
My heart aches with the not knowing and the possibility that she has been in pain of anxiety and withdrawn into herself where she cannot know her once happy self. And selfishly I can no longer visit her and let her know I love her. Yet her life was not joyful since Marty died and if this brings her freedom and love then it is a gift from G!D. I have dreamed, gathered the family, asked for prayers and now I have a map and picture of her where I can view it and never forget her Presence. G~d, help her please to heal her soul. I see other mircasle happenning around me and I feel that I have not done enough and there must be a miracle somewhere for her. What would one miracle look like for Gloria Abrams Frank? Has one happenned already and if so why do we not know?

This ambiguous loss is unending, there is no horizon in view. And our connection with the police has slowed to long pauses.
Yet I will continue to do what I need to do, to live my life so she would be proud of me and will laugh with her when I can remember to move through the pain to the blessings. And then what is the lesson of this pain; to be kind, to love deeply, to demand truth in all relationships especially of myself.